I was asked by James Bacon, editor of the fanzine Journey Planet, to contribute a piece for their Doctor Who issue - #19 - in Winter 2014. I chose to channel my seven-year-old self as accurately as I could.
But I couldn't bear to add in fake childlike spelling errors, even though the odd 'would of' would
of introduced verisimilitude. That is because I'm the sort of OCD-lite adult who likes to use pretentious words like verisimilitude. Seven-year-old me would probably be disgusted.
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By Helena Nash, aged 7, 1976
I like the new Doctor best because he is like all the other Doctors combined. The Doctor Who Monster Book says he is as clever as the first one, as funny as the second one and as nice as the third one. I don't remember the first or second ones but I do remember the third one fighting some big spiders. The spiders scared me, especially when a big one appeared out of thin air on a carpet when the people were chanting. My friend John from next door likes to chant Om Merry Yummy Yum over and over again. He wants to make a giant spider appear on my back like it did with Sarah Jane.
My favourite Doctor Who story is the one with the Loch Ness Monster and the Zygons. We have these yellow cushions at home with frilly bits along the edges. Me and my brother pull them down on our heads and chase each around the house being Zygons. The Loch Ness Monster is good but he doesn't do much. I bet the dinosaurs in the Dinosaur Invasion were better - the picture on the front of the book has one going KKLAK!
The scariest monster in Doctor Who is actually Davros because he is in charge of the Daleks. Also he hasn't got any eyes and even if you work for him he kills you. I am glad the Daleks got him in the end but I think Doctor Who should have blown up the green things that live inside the Daleks.
I also like the Doctor Who action game on the back of the Weetabix packets. I have all four bits of the board and Escape From the Underworld is the best one because it has Silurians and a crawling hand. One of the other bits is Discover The Lost Planet and it has a Thal who looks like James Hunt. I have all the stand-up figures from Weetabix apart from set 6 which has the Tardis and a Sontaran. I will swap my spare Vega Nexos and Aggedor cards for set 6 so my collection will be complete.
I was a bit scared that time when the Sontaran took off his helmet and he had a humpty dumpty head. My mum says if I have nightmares again after watching Doctor Who she won't let me watch it again. Last night a man on Doctor Who turned into a Krynoid in the garden shed, but I don't think my mum saw that I was watching through my fingers so I think I am alright.